~Under the Pisces Sign~

Half way through the month of February the zodiac signs change and the last of the 12 sun signs rule. As for all my fellow birthday party friends, I was the only Pisces. Not only was it the end of the Zodiac year, but also the end of the last 8 years for the ruling of Uranus. Now I don't exactly believe in all the Horoscope nonsense; but when I sometimes read about them and how my traits, and personality match up, you cant help but wonder how is this on point with how I am feeling?? See below.

Pisces: Uranus has a strong psychic effect on you from now through 2011. Your natural inclination to fantasize will lead you into deeper realms, from astral travel to shamanic journeys. Pisces writers, artists, and inventors among others benefit from bursts of creativity and development of the mind’s eye. Your ability to envision and intuit strengthens your innate gifts. As your inner world grows, changes in personality and outward appearance will also become evident. Your style and appearance attract attention, and over time it’s likely you will have entirely reinvented yourself.

Isn't that just incredible. Reinventing myself within the past few years. Well, yes... this was true. I was growing internally. As Valentines Day approached, the worst feeling was to be alone. At least that's what everyone portrays. I was feeling a little sad that I didn't have a Valentine exactly; but I still wasn't at a point with anyone in particular to share this holiday with. As the bouquets passed by my desk to go sit eloquently on the desk of the girls around me, it filled the office with an aroma quite lovely from the scents of rose, lilies, and daisies. Flowers are always so beautiful and uplifting, even though I didn't receive any for my desk that day I came home to a lovely surprise from my bestie, Alys. It was a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers to help brighten my spirits. I was so happy to open them. It was something her and I did because of our long distance friendship. They were always little unexpected surprises, that put smiles on our faces in times of sadness. And I thank her for that.

The best gift I would've received on a day like that was from the US government. It was in a direct result to accomplishing for the first time ever my New Years Resolution -To get my Passport. I made this my resolution because I wanted to be open to the possibilities of the world to travel, learn new cultures, explore unknown lands. Yes you can say that I was inspired by Eat, Pray, Love but who wouldn't be? As I was growing and reinventing myself this was one less thing to hold me back from the possibilities of future travel.



Lotus Flower- Symbolizes something
beautiful & pure growing
from something dark & murky



Early in October my sister and I found a meaning to us that symbolized our strength together and it was the Lotus. We were supposed  to get matching tattoos but I will admit I am still a little nervous about getting my first tattoo. But To celebrate Valentines day and our growth to the light from the darkness we shared a sisterly love for Asian culture over a sushi date. It was quite and quaint but just what we needed to end the day was each other and some miso soup and a maki roll :)

Two days later my sister and I were so excited to see the 3Doors Down private show at 12 & Porter. They were filming an acoustic show for one their major sponsors. This was going to be my first performance to see them live. Which was really cool because it was such an intimate show. As they were setting up equipment, we gathered outside the tour buses hanging with my close and new friends, anxiously waiting to go inside from the cold weather.

The guys were always a blast and entertaining to be around. Our new thing that Judah started was this camera for Retro pictures on our phones. Troy and & Jen put our reserved seating notes out in front to hold our spots for the show. She was always the sweetest. I remember not long before hanging out at her and Brad's house with the guys and how down to earth they both were. Brad is such a southern Mississippi boy. We had devoured some Famous Dave's BBQ (Brad's local fave) and Jen made me feel so welcomed we bonded as the only 2 girls in the house, so I was excited to see her again. The show turned out amazing! They played a sneak acoustic preview of songs from the new upcoming album. This made my anticipation for the release even higher. They also played some of their biggest hits that night, I couldn't believe that this was the first time seeing them ... it was crazy but a great group of people. It was truly an awesome experience and added a another check on my bucket list.

The Holiday Spirit

After we got home things seemed to go right back to the way they were. I was getting tired of trying so hard to make this work. So I did what I never thought I would, I gave up. I gave up on the thought that someday this would work its self out. On that cold day in December I let go.

In the meantime it was the Holidays, and while everyone was in high spirits and celebrating, I was totally a scrooge. I had no desire to celebrate one of the best times during the year. I tried to let it in with making my Mom's homemade chili, having eggnog and cookie nights while curled up on the couch watching football. But it wasn't helping. I did however see a movie one of those nights that truly inspired me. Eat Pray Love.

In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. ~ Liz Gilbert

This is one of my favorite books now. I remember sitting there, watching, relating so closely to some of the things she was battling within herself. It helped me decide to focus on myself and realize that I was on my journey to finding myself as well. This opened up my eyes to start getting out and just truly enjoying what the universe would bring into my new life. It was the first day of my new life, leaving my sorrows behind.

One of the first things I did in December was accompany my high school sweetheart, now close friend to the Garth Brooks concert. We had 4th row seats. This was such an amazing concert, and something I truly needed. Something that helped lift my spirits. Not long after that a great friend of mine whom I give most credit to helping me find my Holiday Spirit called me on a Saturday night. A night I had planned to stay home. He said "Get ready we are leaving in an hour to go to a Christmas party. Its a charity for, Toys for Tots." There were no arguments made I said "OK, call you when I am ready." That was a turning point for me.

Andrew introduced me to so many new people that night. I met Troy, he is one of the most caring guys I still know to this day. He has always been there for me since the night we met. He is someone I know I can always count on. I met Erin and Summer that night as well two great girl friends that were a blast to hang out with. That night ended up to be a long one. I remember ending up at Werthan Mills playing PS3 motion at 5 am and passing out on the couch after.

It was an unexpected, unforgettable night. That same week I met up to reconnect with a friend from high school, Peyton. He was someone special. I was glad to see, talk with and catch up with him. This was something in the making, someone that would be there for me later as new people came into my life. He knew me before all things considered, so talking with him, helped me get back to myself.

For the next few weeks I rolled around town with my "Tripod" aka Troy, Andrew and I. We went to multiple Christmas parties and just hung out on football Sundays. They were my feet on the ground, my way of finding my Holiday spirit. It was a comfort and security I missed, just simply being around people who appreciated you and wanted to share the joy of life with you. I was happy, I was also proud to say I hadn't really spoke to Trae most of the month. We met up once for dinner, just before Christmas.

Which turned out to be completely awkward and I ended up leaving the night early. I knew I wasn't going to see him anymore until after the new year. So I just left it at that. It was finally Christmas Eve and I was ready. My sister and I went home to our parents to enjoy family time.

We woke up that morning, had a yummy breakfast with mimosas and did the usual opening of gifts. That day consisted of laughter, wine, sitting around the fire place eating good food, and watching football. My little brother got the XBOX 360 Kinect which we entertained ourselves to every extent that evening. It was nice to be home with just family. It was our first Christmas that my sister and I didn't have significant others coming home with us.  

This had been beautiful Christmas holiday so far and that night Andrew and friends started a tradition. This was the first Christmas Trolley Pub crawl. We started that night at Whiskey Kitchen, where we all met had our first round of drinks and then loaded up the Trolley. There were close to 20 of us celebrating our last Christmas party blowout. Everyone was ready to get down to business and it was snowing like crazy outside at the beginning of the night. I was surprised with the turnout. Our next stop was Blue Bar for blue shots.  Once we got to Blue bar we went to the Rack room and played some music on the jukebox along with a couple games of pool.

I remember having so much fun, and laughing at the fact no one believed that my sister and I could play pool. After being there for a little bit, it was on to the next bar. We ended up on Nashville's Famous Printers Alley at Bourbon Street Blues & Boogie bar for a little live music and of course our theme of the night shots! As we danced and rocked out...we moved right along to Luau Louie's for a more dance club atmosphere.

I remember this place being so dead when we first got there, but getting busy the longer we stayed. Of course we brought our own party and I was dancing my little heart out. I know we left and went a couple places towards the end of the night but those were vague moments. In the blur of the night we got food and ended up passing out at Werthan again. I have to say this was quite the Christmas holiday. I had so much to be thankful for, my friends were amazing to me at this time in my life! But I was ready for the last week of 2010 to be over.

.:XOXO TMARIE:.