.:Spring Fever:.

Well now that things slowed down for a week or two, I was able to plan my next moves. Between my travels and the "Dr.'s" travels it was hard to get time together but we made it work as much as we could. He was sparking an interest in my eye, and keeping my attention. Dinner dates, and late nights cuddled on the couch watching TV, reading our books and listening to his inner DJ were awesome building blocks to a new relationship. This was something I wasn't quite sure that I wanted just yet; but I didn't let the uncertainty keep me from the possibilities of having an interest in someone new. From my past, the things I had endured in previous months, I had came to the realization that it was time to move on with my life. Ironically, just as how it should be Trae text me. He said that I had received some mail at his house.

He knew it was my check from Sofft so he wanted to meet to deliver it to me. I decided that it was OK. We hadn't seen each other since November, so its no surprise I was a little weary and nervous. Our meeting place was on mutual grounds at Melrose pub for lunch on a blissful warm spring Sunday. I had driven by the place several times since it was close to home, but never stopped in. When I walked in, there he was, sitting at the table facing the door waiting for me to come in. He had on his leather motorcycle jacket and his helmet resting on the table next to him. Even with his bad boy style, his sweet smile still made my heart melt. Then I had to speak.

It was a simple "hello, how have you been?" you know the classic awkward sentence that everyone can relate to and I was no different. It was a nice short lunch, catching up and just talking about plans in the near future. Oddly enough when I left I had to remember the things that tore us apart. The things that I hadn't forgiven him for just yet and it reminded me of how far I had come the last few months, and why it was best to accept things the way they were and keep moving forward not looking back. That same night, my soon to be roommate Chris Nathan had a show at Bluebar.  It was the first time my parents were to meet him and my sister to see him play.

Things ended up not working out with Erin as a new roommate so I posted in a last minute need for someone to move in on Facebook and Chris was the first to respond. I actually didn't mind the fact that we were going to have a guy roomie. I actually felt a little safer with that. My parents seemed to give the approval after that night. And things were finalized for the move at the end of  March. I remember the week before I left for Vegas and LA, I saw the "Dr." a few times....was he really beginning to be on my mind frequently? Was I honestly ready for this? Or maybe I was getting Spring Fever?? Well, as I was packing for my vacation I was consumed with all the questions filling my mind of him....not to mention the decisions on what to pack for my trip.

It was tricky trying to get everything in one bag I was definitely was going to need a miracle. Although I found my solution for over packing, I wasn't able to come up with the answers my conscious was seeking about my new interest the "Dr." The next thing I knew it was time to board the jet plane headed west for the week. I was so ready and so excited to see Rachel and Michelle and everyone from the Playboy Golf family in a few days. As I flew off into the sunset, I remember dosing off and thinking to myself that I was going to miss him this week. I touched down in the "City of Sin" so exhausted from the 4hour flight.

The only thing that was on my mind was food and sleep. I had a busy next day. I decided to have dinner with my friend who was in town as well. We ate at this yummy place in Caesar's Palace called MESA Grill, brought to you by famous chef Bobby Flay. Dinner was absolutely exquisite. I remember I had the New Mexican Spice Rubbed Pork Tenderloin, one of the original classic entrees. The dish was prepared with Bourbon- Ancho Chile sauce, a sweet potato tamale and crushed pecan butter, that just melted in your mouth. The blend of flavors and spices were just amazing. After a full belly it was time for sleep. We had and early day. I wanted to go to see Hover Dam. Of all the times I have been to Vegas I never really enjoyed the tourist sight seeing and tomorrow promised a beautiful day for the ride out to Hoover.

The next morning I woke up nice and early refreshed from the long flight the night before. I got in touch with some local friends to see what the plans were for the evening and I got ready for the day and  headed off to meet my friend for brunch. It was good to reconnect with friends and catch up. I was enjoying my stay so far. Brunch was fun, and hilarious with all the food I could put down. But dessert was the best part! They had all of these little mini desserts, and it was so hard to stop with just one! After brunch we headed to get the car for the ride out to Hoover. It was such amazing weather for the day and I was excited!!

.:XOXO TMARIE:.

.:In my shoes:.

Its a shoe-aholics dream ....the job I work twice a year and it was coming up the following weekend. (wow when I look back- February was a busy month for me!)  It was gona be a girls weekend, but a sad one. My fellow model/ friend was not working this time, she had moved to Hawaii back in November. I was sad but happy for her at the same time. With her leaving my side I was called upon to help find a replacement model for the show that weekend in Atlanta. Lucky for me Nashville houses a lot of good looking size 6 shoe models, and most of them were friends of mine. Heather was requested to be my replacement for Alexis, and was planned to work for Sofft, but she had also been requested by George. Being the loyal person she is, she decided to work for George, and Amberley was hired to work with me. Heather became sick and unable to work, and I was left to find her replacement for George at the Cushe booth. I didn't want to let him down so I asked a friend to work last minute, and then we were off to Atlanta. Since I didn't work Fridays at the time we left that morning to drive down. The drive down was pretty awesome, curled up in the back seat I was relaxed and enjoying our bonding conversations.They were about meaningful things that enlighten the way or the path for which we live, whether them being moments in life that have happened to us or the unconscious mind that awakens deep in your dreams for you to piece together the next morning. It was definitely note worthy and I know I learned a few things along that rural route through the Georgia hills. Amberley had told Courtney and I about this outlet mall just 45 mins north of Buckhead up highway 400. My favorite stores I was anticipating were True Religion and BCBG Maxazria. As we rolled up to the land of the outlets, I was excited. I have always loved a good sale :) I would definitely say we loaded up on some goods while we were there, haha.  Then we headed to check in at the hotel. It was weird staying in a hotel this time, since I always stayed with Alexis. To our surprise when we walked into our suite there was a king. It was obvious that the hotel didn't get our double bed request and they were sold out of those rooms. So the 3 of us unpacked, freshened up, and piled on the king, 7 year old little girl slumber party style. It was quite entertaining. Amberley and Courtney both sleep with eye masks and I didn't. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and whispering to Courtney to pull the covers over because she was in the middle; ha ha, she reacted so fast that she jumped up out of her sleep and almost knocked me out with her arm because she couldn't see. LMAO this was so funny I laughed for days about it. Our hotel room in the morning was nothing but beauty secrets revealed. Amberley has this hobby of finding natural organic cosmetics that are good for the skin and she shared some of those with me. You can also view her blog for more info at http://www.naturalbeautyguru.blogspot.com/ . My friend that was supposed to work with Courtney left us hanging that morning, and I was stuck. It was last minute, thank goodness I could count on Summer she pulled through for part of the weekend to work with George. I was so thankful that I could pull things together so last minute like that. Once we got to work that day it was busy most of the day. Around lunch time I walked over to see if Summer had made it in and she did. It was such a relief. That night we went out to dinner in Atlanta, came home, and relaxed so that we could get up early for another day in the world of shoes. I was so happy to be working, it was my brief escape from reality. My Sofft shoe family were always wonderful people to see and catch up with, and I had so much tell them since August of the previous year. I enjoyed learning things from their experiences, whether it be in life or in business. I looked up to Phil and thrived in his presence during the shows to learn as much as I could about the industry hoping one day to be added to the family officially. One day.....yep, one day...but hey life is short, so you know what to do... buy the shoes :) everyone always feels good in a new pair of shoes, and I did in mine....Hello Chuck Taylor!

That was a wrap for the show and we were headed back to Nashville...back to my cold reality that was looking a little warmer, as I could begin to feel my heart beat again, my birthday rolled up two days later. At the strike of midnight I felt my phone buzz, not sure who it might have been,  I reached over and the glow of my phone in my dark room lit a name across the screen, it was Trae. He was wishing me happy birthday at 12:01 am on the 24th of February. It was so unexpected. I hadn't heard from him in a while. But it was good to know that he was thinking of me on my day of birth and the first one I received on my actual birthday. I got so many birthday wishes from friends and family and that one after everything still meant the most to me. When I got home from work that day, to my humble surprise was a small package from East Tennessee. Alys had sent me a gift, it was beautiful ring with my birthstone and a kindly reminder for when every time I wear it in the future of our friendship and though far away would always be there and support me no matter what my decisions were, or who I was dating or not dating. Even though I had my big party for my birthday, there were still a couple birthday events lined up for that last weekend of February.

Paige the sweet person that she was took my sister and I out to dinner for our birthdays in Cool Springs with Andrew and Brandon to Chuys. It was my first experience eating there, and it was so fun. We had a blast that night, after dinner we went to Dan McGunnis for a few drinks to hangout. But I wasn't feeling so well. We headed home after that. Forgetting to get my gifts from her car that night we set up another dinner the 3 of us at Virago's, where gifts we received, and I must say she did a great job picking out something I liked :) but I was sad that I had to exchange the sizes and the didn't have it my size anymore. I still greatly appreciated her caring and thoughtfulness.

Happy Valley was the conclusion to this February escapade I was on. In my true 80's baby soulful fashion, I rocked my Chuck Taylors, an over sized tee-shirt, and tights that night with a leather jacket....Yep it was so much fun. Andrew and I met up with a bunch of friends that night. We rocked out til late in the night, with pillow fights and photo shoots. This birthday was great, this month was great. Celebrating with amazing new friends and getting my spirits back. I hadn't seen the "Dr." much that month because of everything that I had going on, but we were still talking and getting to know each other better, it was slowly growing but that was ok with me. The next month was going to be crazy, finding a new place to live with adding Erin as a roommate, Vegas, and the Playboy Mansion trip coming up, I had a lot to plan for. But I was ready for the next adventures I was about to embark on.

.:XOXO TMARIE:.

~Under the Pisces Sign~

Half way through the month of February the zodiac signs change and the last of the 12 sun signs rule. As for all my fellow birthday party friends, I was the only Pisces. Not only was it the end of the Zodiac year, but also the end of the last 8 years for the ruling of Uranus. Now I don't exactly believe in all the Horoscope nonsense; but when I sometimes read about them and how my traits, and personality match up, you cant help but wonder how is this on point with how I am feeling?? See below.

Pisces: Uranus has a strong psychic effect on you from now through 2011. Your natural inclination to fantasize will lead you into deeper realms, from astral travel to shamanic journeys. Pisces writers, artists, and inventors among others benefit from bursts of creativity and development of the mind’s eye. Your ability to envision and intuit strengthens your innate gifts. As your inner world grows, changes in personality and outward appearance will also become evident. Your style and appearance attract attention, and over time it’s likely you will have entirely reinvented yourself.

Isn't that just incredible. Reinventing myself within the past few years. Well, yes... this was true. I was growing internally. As Valentines Day approached, the worst feeling was to be alone. At least that's what everyone portrays. I was feeling a little sad that I didn't have a Valentine exactly; but I still wasn't at a point with anyone in particular to share this holiday with. As the bouquets passed by my desk to go sit eloquently on the desk of the girls around me, it filled the office with an aroma quite lovely from the scents of rose, lilies, and daisies. Flowers are always so beautiful and uplifting, even though I didn't receive any for my desk that day I came home to a lovely surprise from my bestie, Alys. It was a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers to help brighten my spirits. I was so happy to open them. It was something her and I did because of our long distance friendship. They were always little unexpected surprises, that put smiles on our faces in times of sadness. And I thank her for that.

The best gift I would've received on a day like that was from the US government. It was in a direct result to accomplishing for the first time ever my New Years Resolution -To get my Passport. I made this my resolution because I wanted to be open to the possibilities of the world to travel, learn new cultures, explore unknown lands. Yes you can say that I was inspired by Eat, Pray, Love but who wouldn't be? As I was growing and reinventing myself this was one less thing to hold me back from the possibilities of future travel.



Lotus Flower- Symbolizes something
beautiful & pure growing
from something dark & murky



Early in October my sister and I found a meaning to us that symbolized our strength together and it was the Lotus. We were supposed  to get matching tattoos but I will admit I am still a little nervous about getting my first tattoo. But To celebrate Valentines day and our growth to the light from the darkness we shared a sisterly love for Asian culture over a sushi date. It was quite and quaint but just what we needed to end the day was each other and some miso soup and a maki roll :)

Two days later my sister and I were so excited to see the 3Doors Down private show at 12 & Porter. They were filming an acoustic show for one their major sponsors. This was going to be my first performance to see them live. Which was really cool because it was such an intimate show. As they were setting up equipment, we gathered outside the tour buses hanging with my close and new friends, anxiously waiting to go inside from the cold weather.

The guys were always a blast and entertaining to be around. Our new thing that Judah started was this camera for Retro pictures on our phones. Troy and & Jen put our reserved seating notes out in front to hold our spots for the show. She was always the sweetest. I remember not long before hanging out at her and Brad's house with the guys and how down to earth they both were. Brad is such a southern Mississippi boy. We had devoured some Famous Dave's BBQ (Brad's local fave) and Jen made me feel so welcomed we bonded as the only 2 girls in the house, so I was excited to see her again. The show turned out amazing! They played a sneak acoustic preview of songs from the new upcoming album. This made my anticipation for the release even higher. They also played some of their biggest hits that night, I couldn't believe that this was the first time seeing them ... it was crazy but a great group of people. It was truly an awesome experience and added a another check on my bucket list.