Dreaming With A Broken Heart

My world had came crumbling down, to a crashing halt. I was so lost at that moment of darkness, and I had no where to go, and No one could cheer me up, my every sense of life's direction seemed so miss guided. I had Kristen, and my Sister, by my side; but that wasn't exactly who I wanted there. I fought through the first week at home still, only to realize it was time to let go and add some space to our equation. Kristen let me stay at her apartment that was empty, because she had moved into her boyfriends place. I stayed there for a few weeks until her lease was up. At that time, I honestly can say I tried sleeping with a broken heart and constantly had dreams of him and I.

I cried myself to sleep every night, wondering what he was doing and wanting to call him but not having the strength to do it. These couple of weeks were my darkest days. Days I prayed for God to give me the strength and the courage to make it through. My heart was broken, my love was lost. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach, and all I wanted was my life back. I never realized what true heartache felt like until this point in time. I didn't know who I was anymore, all I knew was myself with another half, the half of me that was no longer. How did I let myself get so lost in a relationship?

Tucked away in a little one bedroom apartment in Bellevue, far from my normal life, I took the time to find myself worth, to build my strength in solitude. My sister came to visit with me and watch TV some nights, as she was living with us at the time of separation. In the mix of all my sorrows, and doubts, I became really close to my "best friend" someone I had known since the day of her birth. My sister. I truly began to understand how much I needed her in my life in those days of depression. It was almost a blessing that she had just moved in to our house before this happened. She was the only person I could spill my heart out to that would just sit and listen, no matter how many times I cried over the same things. She was my rock, the sign of strength and courage that I needed to help pull me from the depths of my regret, emptiness and despair.

She was always there when I needed her. My little sister, my best friend. Tho' the days were tough. I still had a glimpse of hope. The first weekend of Oct Trae's Dad was coming in town. And although all of this had been going, it was still foreign to his family. No one really knew that this was ending. I prayed that the weekend his Dad was here it would somehow bring us back together.

.: XOXO TMARIE:.