At Summers End

First thing to do when I get home was head out to my parents house for some birthday fun and a little family bbq...OK... A LOT of family BBQ. My parents I can say definitely know how to throw a BBQ. I guess you can say thats where I get it from. It was my Dad's bday and my Mom's soon to follow so we had a good 'ole time just sitting out on the deck, drinking some beer, telling stories of my weekend and smelling the food on the grill.

 Late that night I finally got home to rest unload my stuff, and laid down. As I dosed off to sleep, the thoughts running across my head were wow, what a weekend! Not to mention, what was I gona do now? I had no job to wake up for, things with the Doctor got a little strange this weekend. Was I falling for him? It wasn't my intentions, but was that the root cause to some of the feelings I had that weekend? I believe that it was. I like him, it was just a realization that I wasn't ready for. I wasn't ready to move on, I still had things I was dealing with.

 I was confused, and then stressed about not having job. It was just a feeling of comfort that I somewhat was missing in my life and my feelings were reacting to it, or Maybe it was the thought of rejection? No that couldn't be otherwise why would have spent so much time together. Maybe it was time for me to stop trying to be in so much control and just let things be the way they were meant to be. And thats what I did. Pool time, working out, many nights listening to Chris' music helped me get my mind right, and nights with dear friends that summer helped me get through the lonely times.  I finally started a new job, and I was headed to Vegas that following weekend with my sister. It was her first time in the land of sin. 

You know that city of "lost wages" We had a great girls weekend, Jennifer came over from Cali for a night, we adventured to the clubs with people we had just met, typical group of girls style. Some of the Doctor's friends were in town that weekend too. They were staying at the Palms. On the last day, we decided it would be nice and relaxing to grab a daybed at the pool there and hangout. A couple hundred dollars later we were partying in the Real World suite. His friends had rented the suite for while they were there.

 The drinking didn't stop....an hour or two later we realize that my sister was lost. LOL well not really, she was just passed out, so the plan was to let her rest in the confessional room, and I would be back to get her after I packed etc. She ended up waking up and catching a cab back to our casino while I was out at the last bar for the night with Ally, we got up so early to catch our flight home, It was dreadful flight but we made it back to Nashville in one piece. The Doctor was also traveling so much, a couple weeks had went by since I saw him last and then it all hit me. One night we laid there talking and with all respect to him we were finally honest with each other that all though we enjoyed the comfort of the familiarity that we brought to each other it just wasn't something that was meant to be during that time in our lives and we slowly faded. I was OK, that morning as I watched the sunrise over Nashville. I was home, I had a job now, I got to take my little sister to Vegas for the first time and I rekindled some great old friendships. It felt good to see my summer come to a close and as Labor Day rolled around I had a door that I had closed for months reopen, that sent me into a tailspin.

.:XOXO TMARIE:.