A new place to call Home

It was that next morning, I said my goodbyes, grabbed a cab on that cold rainy morning in LA and then I boarded a plane to head home. Although, I was coming home to a world that was about to change drastically. I was excited to see "the doctor" when I arrived home. I was stringing myself along a road of uncertainty at the time, but I was thoroughly happy in his presence. I was't home for maybe 3 days before I was packing up and leaving again for the weekend. This time I was headed to Indy for the Pacers game with Rachel. I was excited to get up there and hangout, as if we didn't get enough time together the previous week.
We did some shopping, enjoyed the game, and went out to party. Then I was headed home. I didn't really have time to think too much at that point except for when I was on the road. Realizing that I was moving in a week put me in overload. My last night before moving, I enjoyed the noise of the crowd cheering on the USA soccer team with Denise. It was another spring rainy night, I had never been to a league Soccer game before so I wasn't sure what expect...actually I'm pretty sure neither of us knew what to expect, but we still managed to have a blast.

After the night had ended, it was back to packing up the last few things, and I'm not sure if I was ready for the changes.  I was staying super busy and writing helped me cope with a lot of things at that time, and writing a lot. There had been so many changes in my recent past that caused a sort of whirlwind of emotions. Blogging was the constant that kept my sanity at the time of such craziness. Our new home brought light, and new people in my life. I wasn't quite sure how living with a musician was going to be like but, it was too late to turn back now. This was going to be an interesting year to say the least. That first month of April, I had so many things happening. On my first night completely moved in, I was joined by the company of "the Doctor" not sure if its what I actually needed, but his warm and inviting smile was pleasant to see when I opened the door. To my surprise I was handed a house warming gift. A fresh scented candle, one of his favorites, a familiar scent and one that would burn and always remind me of him. It was a sweet gesture followed by dinner and wine at the City House in my new neighborhood for the evening.
 He then walked me to my door kissed me good night and headed home. He was always quite the gentlemen, and I liked that about him at the time. So I was left to unpacking and getting adjusted to me new place to call home, although nothing about it felt like home. Chris had moved in quickly, but was gone our first weekend in our new house, and things were strung everywhere. The following week when we were all together for the first time, Rachel came down and we made a big family feast. The laughter filled our house quickly.

 We were all beginning to enjoy living there. It wasn't shortly that my sister was coming down, and I was going to meet nephew Rowan for the first time since he had been born. I was pretty excited to see him and her. We spent the day shopping, and getting frozen yogurt and just spending time with family. He was the cutest little boy, and I had the best time bonding with him. I didn't want for them to leave. But, they could only stay so long, and I understood.



Being around children kindly reminds me that one day I hope that comes for me, that I hope I've made some decisions along the to ensure I have the opportunity to experience a love so great. But it was back to my busy life, my life that was not tied down to anyone or anything.

When I say I stayed busy I really did. That same week, was the Monster Ball. My one my great friends, Amy, had tickets last minute for us to go! I was super excited! To see Lady Gaga live was awesome! Little did I know
Amy had managed to get us right down by the stage, it was awesome! We had to wait for ever to hold our place but it was definitely worth not being able to feel my feet by the end of the night and my legs feeling like jello from standing for so long. But, Lady Gaga was one of the best concerts I had ever been to. She completely rocked the stage. I was also so happy that my sister was able to go as well. Although towards the end of the night I was a bit jealous that she had a seat, but whose to say she wasn't jealous that we were so close. It was one of the "grass is greener on the other side moments" but needless to say we were blessed and so thankful for Amy to have taken us along for the experience. Our friendship was beginning to really flourish over the next few months into a great one. May promised endings, new relationships, new feelings, and new experiences on my journey to collecting the pieces of me and putting them back together.

.:XOXO:. TMARIE

Girls of Playboy Golf

The next morning was definitely an early one and one that we were not really ready for. Playboy Golf brings together people from around the world, to play golf, mingle with attractive females, and party. The network of girls stretch from all over the USA, into Canada and Australia. We are all brought together once a year for the final golf tournament of the season. Some of which you make bonds with for life, and others well you just simply wonder why they are there in the first place.
 I made two incredible bonds for life with Michelle and Rachel. We had met at our original tournament a few years back and this was our 2nd trip to the finals. I only really cared to be around the two of them. Most everyone else, I didn't care to make the initiative to get to know. As we unloaded by the hundreds to the course, we walked around to find out what holes we would be playing on for the day, picked up our bag of essentials and ate breakfast. We then loaded up our golf carts and set out for two courses. 

Erica, Michelle, Myself, Rachel

The day was full of taking pictures, dancing,  having drinks with the golfers and just letting the wind blow through our hair with the scent of fresh cut green grass in the air. My girls are quite the entertaining ones so we didn't really experience boredom. It was fun a great day in the sun in the presence of two of my favorite people, and a new one. As things progressed during the day, we made plans to all go out that evening to the Supper Club. It was a night club in LA. The 4 of us headed back to the hotel  exhausted from the day and ready to nap before the evening. When I previously mentioned I didn't have a good feeling about trusting people in LA ...well my intuition was correct, the girl we kindly added into our circle, managed to steal things right from under us. While Rachel was in the shower and I was sleeping still, after she had gotten ready to go out, she packed up her suit case and decided she was too tired or sick to go out that night with us. We thought this was strange but didn't argue and let her go.
 We went out that night and had fun, I ran into a friend of mine from Nashville, randomly but it was great to see a familiar face in a town that's not common in. The next morning being as naive as we were, we come to find out that we were missing things, like jewelry, makeup, etc. This then became a matter of strangers in our room, who do you trust, etc. I had more things taken from me than anyone else in the room. I was so furious that I went straight to the directors of the event and they told me "We can't do anything about it" I couldn't believe that they could stick us in rooms with girls we didn't know and then have the audacity to say they can't do anything about our things being stolen.

 This was my last straw. It was my last day here and last night with Playboy Golf. I spent most of my morning talking to hotel security, and trying to figure out where my things went and with who they were with. With everything panning out the way they did, I just decided to let it go and enjoy the last night there. This was the lingerie party night and it was almost over. 
This night was the night that everyone looked forward to. The girls did their best to show everything they could and appear to still be wearing clothes. This was also the night that the Playboy International Girl of Golf was announced. You see, the last few days were a campaign to help Rachel win this title. All the dinners, the golf course, the golf balls we handed out with her photo on them, everything was to help get the golfers to vote on her to win. I was asked multiple times throughout our stay why I didn't try to run for this, and my answer was simply she was a better fit for the roll, and honestly I wasn't interested.

 I didn't really  have the patience for all the politics that were involved in the competition. Rachel did her best the whole time we were there to speak to everyone and she deserved it. As the night went on, we celebrated Hef's 85th birthday. It was awesome to see him in person, I never thought that would have ever happened in my life. As I roamed the grounds of the Playboy Mansion for the last time, I soaked in everything that I had learned from the whole experience. We made our way to the side of the stage and patiently awaited the results of the Girl of Golf competition. When they announced Rachel's name I was so EXCITED for her I was shaking, I knew that she wanted this so bad, and it was then I realized this would be the last time I would be here. Seeing her in the spotlight, listening to her speech, was enough for me. I had honestly experienced everything that I needed to through this adventure.
 I made 2 wonderful friends with whom I hold dearest to me, and I learned a lot about who I was as a person, who I wanted to be and the life through playboy or anything of the same was not where I wanted to be. It was time to celebrate and also to slowly phase out this part of my life. I never once regretted participating in  Playboy Golf I am merely just thankful I was never the person to be consumed by it. It helped me develop some personal emotional strengths, and I came out a stronger person on the other side. Thanks Playboy Golf...Its been nice knowing ya... PEACE!
.:XOXO:. TMARIE