Life is too SHORT to wake up in the morning with REGRETS, so love the people who treat you RIGHT, forget about the ones who DON'T, and believe that everything happens for a REASON. If you get a chance TAKE it, if it changes ur life LET it. Nobody said it would be EASY, they just promised it would be WORTH it!!!
Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. -Calvin Coolidge
After having a wonderful Thanksgiving with family it really set the mood for December. I had the Spirit of Christmas burning through me. It was going to be a busy month! I was working so many promos, and having holiday cocktails with friends. I loved every bit of it! I think its because I didn't enjoy those moments as much the year before until it was almost to late. Not this year, I wan't going to let my favorite time of giving pass me by. I couldn't wait to put up our Christmas tree, hang our stockings, and decorate our house with lights outside. I even planned a Christmas party for my girls. Shopping for them, cooking for them, everything was so fun! It was a little difficult picking the date for the party but we all managed to find a night.
The scent of cinnamon apples and the exchange of candles and laughter, filled my living room over wine and hors d'oeuvres. Chris played a private acoustic session for us. We even skyped with Jennifer who wasn't able to be there because she was in Cali. It was a great night. I was so happy how it turned out. That following weekend I went to Indy for Christmas with Rachel since she was in Nashville for Thanksgiving. We open gifts, went out on the town. It was nothing too crazy, just simple time together. On the last day I was there we had tickets to the Titans vs Colts game. It was my first time at Lucas Oil Stadium. I was definitely impressed in the facility. The game was somewhat of a shocker though. It didn't quite turn out how everyone anticipated it to. That season the Titan's were a little rocky, but the Colts oh my, they were terrible, because they lost Peyton Manning to an injury. Something happened in this game though.
The Colts ended up winning their first game all season! That blue and white confetti had waited months to be released from its holding place. Kinda, ironic how that happened. When I made it home, it was only a week and half until Christmas. I had the MillerCoors Mistletoe party with my SPEAKeasy ladies that week. Lina and I entertained ourselves all night in the photo booth. Trae came for the free beer and then we went Honky Tonkin after I was released. It was such a merry time with my girls. I still had shopping to do for family and Trae. I was starting to stress over his present. I knew he wanted a guitar, but geez they were so expensive. Then one day at work I finally found one online, I was so excited. It was perfect. There were many more celebrations that week. It was Tiffany's birthday, Jennifer and Josh were in town for Christmas, we all got together for drinks and catching up. It truly felt like Christmas. I was so blessed. Trae and I had points that holiday season that we didn't know if we were going to continue working on things. We both had moments and people that we still connected with, I had thoughts that maybe this wasn't right, that maybe there was someone else that was better for me out there, and I just wasn't giving myself the opportunity to explore those feelings. I tried many times before but, he was always the one person that my feelings stayed constant for. The one my heart raced for. We had decided after everything we were trying to do, that we owed it to ourselves to go somewhere just the two of us for New Years. Years before that we always spent this night in the company of friends. But this was different. After the exchanging of presents and time with the family. A few days later we packed the car and headed to the NOLA! It was going to be my first time there, and I couldn't wait to walk down Bourbon Street!
.:XOXO TMARIE:.
After we got home things seemed to go right back to the way they were. I was getting tired of trying so hard to make this work. So I did what I never thought I would, I gave up. I gave up on the thought that someday this would work its self out. On that cold day in December I let go.
In the meantime it was the Holidays, and while everyone was in high spirits and celebrating, I was totally a scrooge. I had no desire to celebrate one of the best times during the year. I tried to let it in with making my Mom's homemade chili, having eggnog and cookie nights while curled up on the couch watching football. But it wasn't helping. I did however see a movie one of those nights that truly inspired me. Eat Pray Love.
In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. ~ Liz Gilbert
This is one of my favorite books now. I remember sitting there, watching, relating so closely to some of the things she was battling within herself. It helped me decide to focus on myself and realize that I was on my journey to finding myself as well. This opened up my eyes to start getting out and just truly enjoying what the universe would bring into my new life. It was the first day of my new life, leaving my sorrows behind.
One of the first things I did in December was accompany my high school sweetheart, now close friend to the Garth Brooks concert. We had 4th row seats. This was such an amazing concert, and something I truly needed. Something that helped lift my spirits. Not long after that a great friend of mine whom I give most credit to helping me find my Holiday Spirit called me on a Saturday night. A night I had planned to stay home. He said "Get ready we are leaving in an hour to go to a Christmas party. Its a charity for, Toys for Tots." There were no arguments made I said "OK, call you when I am ready." That was a turning point for me.
Andrew introduced me to so many new people that night. I met Troy, he is one of the most caring guys I still know to this day. He has always been there for me since the night we met. He is someone I know I can always count on. I met Erin and Summer that night as well two great girl friends that were a blast to hang out with. That night ended up to be a long one. I remember ending up at Werthan Mills playing PS3 motion at 5 am and passing out on the couch after.
It was an unexpected, unforgettable night. That same week I met up to reconnect with a friend from high school, Peyton. He was someone special. I was glad to see, talk with and catch up with him. This was something in the making, someone that would be there for me later as new people came into my life. He knew me before all things considered, so talking with him, helped me get back to myself.
For the next few weeks I rolled around town with my "Tripod" aka Troy, Andrew and I. We went to multiple Christmas parties and just hung out on football Sundays. They were my feet on the ground, my way of finding my Holiday spirit. It was a comfort and security I missed, just simply being around people who appreciated you and wanted to share the joy of life with you. I was happy, I was also proud to say I hadn't really spoke to Trae most of the month. We met up once for dinner, just before Christmas.
Which turned out to be completely awkward and I ended up leaving the night early. I knew I wasn't going to see him anymore until after the new year. So I just left it at that. It was finally Christmas Eve and I was ready. My sister and I went home to our parents to enjoy family time.
We woke up that morning, had a yummy breakfast with mimosas and did the usual opening of gifts. That day consisted of laughter, wine, sitting around the fire place eating good food, and watching football. My little brother got the XBOX 360 Kinect which we entertained ourselves to every extent that evening. It was nice to be home with just family. It was our first Christmas that my sister and I didn't have significant others coming home with us.
This had been beautiful Christmas holiday so far and that night Andrew and friends started a tradition. This was the first Christmas Trolley Pub crawl. We started that night at Whiskey Kitchen, where we all met had our first round of drinks and then loaded up the Trolley. There were close to 20 of us celebrating our last Christmas party blowout. Everyone was ready to get down to business and it was snowing like crazy outside at the beginning of the night. I was surprised with the turnout. Our next stop was Blue Bar for blue shots. Once we got to Blue bar we went to the Rack room and played some music on the jukebox along with a couple games of pool.
I remember having so much fun, and laughing at the fact no one believed that my sister and I could play pool. After being there for a little bit, it was on to the next bar. We ended up on Nashville's Famous Printers Alley at Bourbon Street Blues & Boogie bar for a little live music and of course our theme of the night shots! As we danced and rocked out...we moved right along to Luau Louie's for a more dance club atmosphere.
I remember this place being so dead when we first got there, but getting busy the longer we stayed. Of course we brought our own party and I was dancing my little heart out. I know we left and went a couple places towards the end of the night but those were vague moments. In the blur of the night we got food and ended up passing out at Werthan again. I have to say this was quite the Christmas holiday. I had so much to be thankful for, my friends were amazing to me at this time in my life! But I was ready for the last week of 2010 to be over.
Finally Back in Nasvhille I was so exhausted from mine and Shayna's lil escapade to Fort Wayne, that I couldn't believe I was even attempting to Party Hard that night...but you know what we had a Limo and I was high on life, so I decided what tha Hell here we go, and I've got all day to chill on Sunday....so I did my usual, got dolled up hit up Chris and Kim to see what time we were leaving put on some heels, and hit the road, little did I know I wasn't coming home that night. It was so much fun but it felt like the night was ending to soon, we had met up with Trae and his friends, and he didn't want me to leave so I missed my ride back to the Boro, and stayed with him, (NO nothing happened he was actually quite the gentleman) to my surprise...The next morning I woke up in his big tee shirt and basketball shorts...looking a HOTT mess I put my walk of shame clothes back on and we went to breakfast on the way home to my apartment...Once I was dropped off I got a text from Trae that said "Don't think that, just because I didn't make a move on you that I'm not interested, we have plenty of time for that." ohhhh I was hooked from then on...We got together as much as we could, dinners, Agave, etc...everything was going great up until Dec 22 we all went out that night, and it turned into a disaster, J.J. Showed UP! OH I was PISSED!! He had never once stepped foot into LOT7 before! Now if you remember I haven't spoke to him since October...so he comes to me and thinks that we are still together, (What A DUMB ASS) anyways, Trae got pissed and I thought I ruined every potential thing we had in a relationship...But what we actually learned from that experience is how we liked each other, and how our true feelings came out...after not really speaking for a couple days we resolved things on Christmas Night. He took me to Ristorante Volare in the Opryland Hotel for Christmas Dinner it was so pretty, and I was so nervous. After that night I knew exactly what I wanted and I wasn't stopping til I got it! I fought with J.J. for a few days, but in the end he no longer had my heart, and it was finally time to close that chapter of my life, and how more appropriate than the end of the year! 2007 was by far the craziest year I had in college, I had experienced so many things, from drugs, to all night parties, a crazy spring break, meeting new lifetime friends, rekindling a lost friendship, and meeting the man I want to spend my life with, and I was more than ready for it to end, and I was looking for forward to the night we said goodbye to 2007!
We both had moments and people that we still connected with, I had thoughts that maybe this wasn't right, that maybe there was someone else that was better for me out there, and I just wasn't giving myself the opportunity to explore those feelings.
I tried many times before but, he was always the one person that my feelings stayed constant for. The one my heart raced for. We had decided after everything we were trying to do, that we owed it to ourselves to go somewhere just the two of us for New Years. Years before that we always spent this night in the company of friends. But this was different. After the exchanging of presents and time with the family. A few days later we packed the car and headed to the NOLA! It was going to be my first time there, and I couldn't wait to walk down Bourbon Street!
