I've Been Looking for Destiny

It is amazing how much influence Social Media has on our relationships today. I remember when dating was picking up the phone and calling each other. Now I was faced with losing the person I loved most because of Facebook. Social Media has made people today crazy in believing everything they see or read about the lives of people they know. The public appearance of relationships has never been so important in our lives until now thanks to Social Media. I am definitely at fault to expressing my feelings to the virtual world at times of weakness, but does it help to portray our perfect lives everyday to everyone? Probably not.

 Everyone today is so worried about everyone else that they lose sight on something or someone that is worth fighting through all the bullshit for or for the things in life that are normal, like actually seeing each other to hold your relationships and friendships together and not relying on Facebook, Twitter, or any social media sites for that matter. Easter weekend I chose to believe what Facebook portrayed to me and walked away, with out any room for explanation, or reconciliation in the future. That moment of letting go was hard for me to do, but didn't hurt as bad as the first time. I knew that I gave it what I could, and I was happy with my efforts in trying to save us. But the end result lead to a separated path. Reflecting on the opportunities that were before me. I wanted to leave town and move finally.

 I began pursuing career opportunities everywhere, along with working a lot of promotions, and spending time with friends and running with Girls on the Run after school charity program. A few weeks later while I was out working one night I met a group of people from out of town. They were temporarily living in Nashville for work. After work that night my friends and I met up  to hang out with them. I had such a great time that I decided it wouldn't hurt to get to know one of the guys I met that night. He made me laugh and brought simple happy emotions to my life at that point in time. The chemistry that we had immediately was amazing. The following week he left to go home to visit family, I ran into Trae and Christian after working a promo.

 It had been a little over a month since we had seen each other last. I immediately became very emotional, it was so good to see Christian, but words were said between Trae and I that were not nice. I met Christian a few days later for dinner to catch up. We talked about my job opportunities, my new dating interest and of course my relationship with Trae. That was the last subject I wanted to talk about but it was something he knew all to well. He made some great points that night to me that would later help me. 

After a week or so I began bringing Tristan around friends and we began dating, everyone really liked how laid back and easy going he was. He was quite a trooper and as sweet as he could be to me. We did a lot of things during the month of May, from Predators playoff games to many nights in Nashville with friends.  I took him and his friends to see Chris Nathan play one night and when the song "Girl By the Window"  began it shined a light on these lyrics that I love...."I've been looking for destiny, so won't you come rescue me?" I was definitely in need of rescuing. I believed that I had found a simple happiness with Tristan, but was facing the uncertainty of how long the relationship would actually last, knowing he was here in Nashville til the end of the year. I still took that risk,  because I had nothing to lose. 

We planned on going to Indianapolis for Memorial Day weekend and the Indy 500.  I had also been interviewing for jobs in the Nashville area and a few were very promising. We hit the road to Indy for the weekend. It was so much fun, one of best weekends I've had up there. Everyone was very fond of Tristan and I. It was a crazy weekend of no sleep once again. He met a lot of acquaintances through me that weekend and with little to my knowledge would carry over once we were back in Nashville. Its so funny how nice you can be to people and when you turn your back for the slightest moment they can stick a knife in it so fast. 

When I got home to Nashville it was a short week of work and on that Friday June 1, I was offered a job I was wanting so bad! I couldn't believe it. It was a job I had been wanting for a while, one that involved travel, and sales. I immediately put in my 2 weeks at Meiko and began counting down the days. I was so excited. That same weekend I received an unexpected text from Trae that would turn everything in my world upside down. 

.:XOXO TMARIE:.

Super Bowl XLVI

After the wedding, the fighting began. We argued for days about what we were, what we were doing with each other. All the normal questions that arise after you hit a certain point in a relationship. Then questioning trust, loyalty, and faithfulness became topics that inevitably was tearing us apart. We weren't ready, or he wasn't ready. I was completely ready for us to move forward but could feel the doubt in his presence whether or not he had given up the past, the urge to be single and in the game. This was OK for him to feel, but was it healthy for us? No. I needed time away to think or not to think, but to just be away. Luckily I had planned the previous summer that I would be going to Indianapolis for my birthday and the Superbowl. I didn't have a ticket to the game but I was just excited to be a part of everything else that weekend. Rachel had planned a ton of stuff for us to do while I was there. So I loaded up my suitcase and hit the road for an unforgettable weekend.

The weekend started as soon as I arrived in town. She also had two other girls going out with us that night. They were from her pageant circuit days, and were sweet as can be and hilarious!
So we all got dolled up and headed to the ESPN Magazine party for the Drake performance that night. As you can probably only imagine, we were in sports athlete heaven for those of you who are interested. I met several people that night mingling through the party. Probably one of the funniest moments was when Cam Newton's "friend" approached our entourage with the classic line "Hey Ladies how are you doing tonight? I would like you to meet one of my friends".....and there stands Cam. Whats really funny was that I shook his hand said hello and headed to the bar to get a drink while the other girls talk for a minute or two while I'm at the bar. When I get back they are walking away and Rachel says to me "you know who that is right??" I said "No.....who?" she says "Cam Newton" I said back to her "hahahaha oops I totally dissed him with a Hello and a dip out of the conversation." LMAO we just laughed. One of the best moments of the night. That night we also met Tim Tebow who I was thoroughly not impressed with and tons of other people.

 Rachel and Terrell Owens had been friends for awhile and we were all supposed to meet  up here then go to the next party together. While we waited for T.O. to show up we walked and talked among all the NFL alumni. It was quite an entertaining party. Upon his late arrival we finally got our group together for the next party. The after party at Sensu. We show up and the club is getting ready to close. Rachel and Terrell tried pulling as many strings as they could but the door guy wasn't budging. Looks like even if you're an NFL star and a Local Celebrity whose station promotes your business they don't care and will turn their heads to you as they let people in the back door down the ally.  It was quite a joke so we said forget it, we will have our own after party! It was gourmet microwave pizza's by Jackie in the hotel suite and laughter about the night and how stupid Sensu was earlier, followed by all of us piling up in the cab back to Rachel's. This was just night one. We had a couple more to go! 

The next day Rachel and I went to eat at one of our fav places to cure our hangover, Barcelona's. It was a dreary kinda of day, rainy and cold. Of course we had no umbrella and needed one, so as we walked to Superbowl Village, we stopped and got one. Frolicking through downtown Indy headed to the Celebrity Beach bowl we decided to change course, and we met up with one of my friends Blake who had seen on Facebook that I was in town and said we all needed to meet up for lunch. Well since we just ate lunch we joined them for drinks to start the afternoon at Capitol Grill. Little did we know that this would change the whole outcome of the weekend. Blake was having lunch with 2 of his friends, JJ and Stephen. We had no clue who they were by the names. When we got there it was just Blake and JJ.  

We soon found out through conversation about where everyone was staying, who JJ was. It stood for Jerrel Jernigan, the rookie wide receiver for the New York Giants. Blake and JJ had been friends for long time because they were from the same home town in Alabama.  Stephen showed up after us because his meeting ran over. When he got there I still didn't have a clue who he was. Friendly conversation was passed around about the radio show that he had and Rachel's. It was an inside joke for the guys because they knew Stephen's show reached a much larger audience.
 Blake mentioned he was going to possibly have an extra ticket for me for the game on Sunday if one of his friends couldn't make it in town in time.  So we all made plans to go to the Maxim together that night as a group.  It wasn't until after we left to roam around the NFL Experience with Blake that he said do you even know who Stephen is? We both said "No".....he laughed and said "that was Stephen Baldwin." Rachel about died laughing about her competition on how many listeners she had compared to him. We couldn't stop laughing about how non star-struck we were. We did the classic Tim Tebow pose, as people stared at us outside under the Zipline, walked around some more and then headed back to her place to rest and get ready for the night. 

I met up with everyone at Capitol Grill for dinner while Rachel was at an appearance for work. I found out just before dinner that my additional ticket was claimed because Blake's friend Brooks had just made it to his hotel before all of us going to dinner. 

The NFL Alumni association was staying at the Conrad Hotel attached, and it was full of Celebrities walking throughout the lobby and the Capitol Grill. Drew Brees, Danny Devito (Shortest man alive lol) LMFAO (and their ridiculous outfits) Robert Randolph, Tracy Morgan just to name a few. It was certainly an experience of a life time. I was enjoying every moment of this Epic weekend. Trae was on my mind but with all the fighting going on prior to me leaving, he didn't seem to care if I called or not. Nor was he remotely interested on how my weekend was going. But, I did my best checking in with him and trying to talk to him throughout the weekend and telling him how much fun I was having. After we all ate and Rachel got there. We were running really behind to the party, and after standing waiting on the limo my bossy self and sense of needing to be in control kicked in, and I started walking up the street to catch a cab to the party.

Everyone told me it wouldn't work, well you know what?? I pulled up in a cab and picked everyone up and we headed to the party. Red Carpet entrance and all. Rachel saw Marco Andretti one of her long time friends and James Hinchcliffe so we went over to say hello which was a fiasco because they were sitting with Ludacris. Whom Blake knew too. Everything was so surreal....and we were having the time of our lives. At the end of the party we saw DJ Vice unplug his laptop and hop off the stage. Instead of catching a cab back we got on the after party limo bus with our group....which low and behold DJ Vice was setting up his laptop for the ride!! Only would this happen to us.
When we got to the after party we saw Lil Jon, and  LMFAO  up on the balcony spinning tracks until DJ Vice took over. It was simply a crazy turn of events. We partied until 4 am and then got a cab ride back at the close of the night. The next morning was Superbowl Sunday we had brunch that day at Rock Bottom brewery and talked about all of us getting ready for the tailgate parties and meeting up before the game, only thing was that I was the ONLY person sitting at the table without a ticket. I was OK with that too,  I would simply tailgate then go watch it somewhere downtown. Stephen said that just wasn't an option and that I would be going to the game if he could find an extra ticket. As our group was leaving the restaurant I got a fair share of Celebrity paparazzi, people were taking pictures of us and wanting pictures with Stephen, it was quite hilarious.

While getting ready with Rachel we ran over so many options about the game and what to wear etc. She was taking her Dad to the game with her extra ticket, which was the sweetest thing. I couldn't even be upset at her for that....I would totally take my Dad to the Superbowl if I had that opportunity. When he got to her place we all left and headed to the stadium to the Maxim tailgate party. On the way at 2:45 pm on Superbowl Sunday I got a text from Blake that said "you owe me" and I said "why...?" he then replied back with "You're going to the Superbowl" I then immediately jumped up and down with excitement!! and called him. He said that Stephen had pulled through and got me an extra ticket. I was so ecstatic and happy. I didn't care where the seat was, who I was sitting next to, or even the fact that I would be sitting solo!
 I was going and it was a once in a lifetime opportunity that I would be at this Epic game. Rachel, her Dad and I met up with all of them at the tailgate and took photos etc, we then got a car to take us to the NFL Alumni Assocation to pick up my ticket to the game. While we were there, I met LL Cool J, Vivica Fox and many more. The biggest surprise of the whole weekend was when Stephen walked over to me and said I have your ticket. He opened the envelope and there were 3 tickets. It was mine, his, and he Radio station cohost's....we were all sitting together! I asked how did that happen and he said his brother had these extra tickets he forgot about so he gave him the option to do what he wanted with them and he kept them for all of us to sit together and gave up his other seats. I was so excited, and so lucky! I couldn't believe I was actually getting my ticket just an hour before kickoff, and I was going to be on the 4th row Giants Sideline. It was unbelievable. That game I cheered on the Giants for Jerrel, I got to see music legend Madonna perform during the half time show. All from 4 rows back from the the field. 

The New York Giants won Superbowl XLVI 21-17. The celebration then started late into the night.....we caught up with everyone after the game for dinner at Capitol Grill. We had the side room reserved for our large party, which included 3 of the Baldwin Brothers, Stephen, Alec, Billy and friends. It was incredible  We then went to the Giants post-game party at the Marriott to celebrate their victory with Jerrel. This night of frolicking ended up at Jimmy Fallon's after party. We laughed, had drinks among each other and joked around the rest of the night with Jimmy who was a hilarious character. It was the perfect close to the weekend of craziness and celebrity encounters. I have never been around so many awesome people in one weekend. I woke up the next day not looking forward to the drive home. It such an awesome weekend. Sleep was not an option most of it and I was Exhausted!!!!!!!!! But it was EPIC, a weekend to mark off of my Bucket list too! A weekend unforgettable. But no matter how tired I was, I was ready to be back home. 

Sweet Summer Time

As May rolled around things began to happen quickly. There were so many events going on. One of the first things I was planning for was Steeplechase! It was going to be my first year for big hats, and horse racing! I honestly had no idea what to expect, but thank goodness I was going with a few veterans to the game. Craig, his sister, her husband and I, threw on plaid, boots, dresses and hats and headed to races for some mint juleps and social gatherings. If you have never been, I suggest going at least once to experience the day.
 It calls for a good days worth of tailgating, gambling, grilled food and just good friends, with always a chance of rain! LOL and of course my first time we had rain. All and all it was a great day!! Later on that evening we had dinner at their parents house then continued drinking for the post steeplechase activities, Chris my roommate had a show and the night was longer than expected. I met up with the Doctor throughout the day and evening to hangout we were beginning to spend ample amounts of time together and feelings were beginning to bloom, but still the hesitation was there to commit to any feelings.

Sure we liked each other but we were just slowly coming around to admit that to each other, it would take a few more months. As the days dropped from the calendar of May, I enjoyed Preds playoff games with Amy and friends. Spending those Tuesdays and Thursdays in Smashville! Then soon becoming unemployed was a shock! Around the end of May I was laid off.
 I wasn't sure how to handle it, or what I was going to do. That night sitting on the Doctor's couch we just embraced the fact and began to look at things and options for me. He truly was great to have beside me while dealing with the shock of not going to work the next day. I took that time of freedom and just enjoyed my next month with long days at the pool, training myself to get up and run every morning, and sending out resumes in hopes of finding something new. One of my adventures during that time of freedom was my first Indy 500 Experience.

 Rachel was so stoked that last minute she had spare tickets to all the Indy 500 parties and race day tickets. So I packed up that day and headed up to Indianapolis, with no expectations and nothing holding me back in TN. Upon my arrival to Indy, Rachel warned me that I would be getting up super early to go to the station with her before heading to Carb Day at the track. It was so awesome to watch her work, and to see what truly happens in the Radio stations during the AM shows.
 Her and Kyle were absolutely hilarious!! If the city of Indy could hear their outtakes they would love them 10x more! Our Motto became the "Pace of the Race"  because of a caller. And that was truth, we were going at 230 mph the rest of the weekend! Carb Day had started and so did the drinking. If any of  you don't know, this weekend is full of drinking and fast cars! Ironically, the Doctor was up here that weekend as well for the race with his friends. He got in town later than I did. But had no idea I was there. My plan was to just visit with Rachel for the weekend but that got messed up when we ended up running into each other on Carb day. We ended up hanging out for a few but went our separate ways because Rachel some how managed to get us into the garages!
 I was so excited. Before this weekend I had never been to a race and with her close ties to some of the Indy car teams we got to go back there. It had been such a long day! We enjoyed the garages and then headed over to some of the suites before heading home so I could get a good view of the track before Sunday's event. We had such a good time. Later that night I met up with the Doctor and friends in an area of Indy called Broad Ripple, it was kind of a disastrous night. I didn't really know anyone he was with other than his friend from Nashville and things felt just plain weird. I ended up driving some of us home because they were to far gone to imagine driving and I wasn't leaving my car in an area I didn't know.
We ended up getting home safely. I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable but I was to far away from Rachel's to consider driving that late home. We ended up getting in a ridiculous fight and I just laid down to go to sleep. That next morning while everyone headed to the pool I headed back to Rachel's to relax and get ready for the Fantasy 500 party that night that we had VIP passes to. We were Red Carpet ready for the event and well rested. We enjoyed the free cocktails, the music and the company of friends who also were in town for the eventful weekend. I can honestly say it had been a great evening frolicking with some of the celebrities that were there. But my ultimate mistake and I blame my clouded judgement on alcohol was deciding to stay out later than Rachel did. I mistakenly thought it was a good idea to go meet up with the Doctor for round two this night. SO, I did. We had a better night that night, but I would regret my decision the next morning when I decided to stay the night and not take the taxi home.  We woke up about 30 mins prior to their party bus picking them up for the track that day, which meant no one had time to take me Rachel's and get back in time to leave.

Epic Fail it was and I was forced to take a taxi back to her house. As they were loading up, I getting in the taxi in my dress from the night before and giving her address to the driver, this was clearly "my walk of shame" LOL. One of which I will never forget! So after 30 mins of  riding we precede to head into downtown Indy, I begin to realize he has taking me to the completely wrong address. 45 mins later we are sitting in Race day traffic! I'm still in my dress, I'm hungover, I'm hungry, and my phone is dying! Not to mention Rachel is already at the track. It was a TOTAL Epic Fail. Well, since Rachel was there already, I began trying to coordinate plans with Pat McAfee her man at the time, who lived relatively close to her and was still at home getting ready to head to the track.
Another 45 mins later I make it to her house to change really quick, ALL of which I am still in the same taxi...now keep in mind I have been in this same taxi since 8AM, it is now going on 10AM, and when I finally pick up Pat. We head to track, running late as ever, as we are entering the on ramp to hit the interstate he realizes he has forgot his ticket. LOL, so YES, our taxi driver put the cab in Reverse and backed up the on ramp and turned around to head back. We grab the ticket and find out from his friends that we now had a police escort into the track. Thank goodness, because we were trailing behind and it was almost 12 before we finally got there. We were dropped off to meet friends at the car wash, and our taxi fare ended up being close to $175. I was floored.
 Thanks to Pat he picked up most of the bill because of the rough morning I had. The day ended up being pretty amazing I got a Suite ticket and got to see the opening of the race, which was monumental because they were celebrating the 100th Anniversary Indy 500 Race. The gusts of wind that blow your hair and the sound the cars make as the fly past you is exhilarating. Rachel met up with us at the Suite and I was finally getting some food and a few drinks, then we were headed down the Snake Pit. It was party time with the station. My photos don't do justice for the craziness that the snake pit brings to the race. That day despite all the things that happened to me prior in the morning turned out to be amazing. Rachel and I went on a fastfood binge on the way home from the track, managed to change clothes and end up at a strip club with lap dances and all, before going out that night to hangout with Marco Andretti for his after party at Sensu a premier nightclub in Indy.

 It was a great weekend! I learned alot of things to say the least and gained a new love for Indy car. But I was glad to be on the road home, and ready some R&R days at the pool to come....the Doctor and I were slowly fading after the Indy incident so coming back home to that was a bit challenging and I wasn't too sure what to think or how to feel. In the next few months of summer I would soon find out what was for the best.
.:XOXO TMARIE:.

RockStar Road Trip

So there I was at work when I got a phone call, it was Shayna... she wanted to head up to Fort Wayne, Indiana for a concert....to see her man at the time open up for Papa Roach...so I was down for that..it would be so fun, and its not that far away..so we thought...we left and headed north...about 2 hours in to the trip I received a text...could it be? Yes it was! Trae had texted me to see what I was up to and to give me his number. LOL, I told him i was headed to a concert just for the night and would be back tomorrow morning...he thought I was crazy driving all that way and not even staying the night, but hey you only live once! Throughout our conversation we managed to make plans for the following night to meet up in Nashville, since I was headed for a night out on the town with some close friends of mine, it made since to meet up for the first time since dinner the weekend before where we met. The next thing that happened was so funny..Shayna and I thought we were lost, we thought we passed our exit in the mix of trying to get ready on the road...turns out the exit we were looking for was still aways to go when we looked at the map. We then realized that our short little trip we thought was only like 5 hours turned in to 9!!! Yes 9 hours! It was time for some energy drinks...5 hour energy shots to be exact...and for the record they work...LOL I think I downed 2 of them in like 1 hour...by the time we got through Indianapolis my heart rate was so high...I felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. We stopped just outside of the city to fill up on gas and change...it was snowing outside and I mean piles of snow lined the streets and sidewalks. Just as our luck was...the gas station only had a single bathroom...LOL I remember people coming up and knocking to use the restroom that we were occupying as we continued to put on make up and get dressed..wow what an experience that was! LOL Just shortly after we finally arrived to the concert...We went back stage to watch his performance and upstairs behind the stage from the VIP view room to watch Papa Roach, it was an awesome experience! Next stop the tattoo shop, in true VIP rockstar form the locked us in...we were there pretty much til the sun came up! I was so tired from the drive and the night that I passed out on the couch in the parlor as everyone continued to get tats...When we finally left it was breakfast time and then back on the road. Needless to say it was definitely an awesome experience, but getting back to Nashville was a warm welcoming feeling and I was ready to rock out once more for my weekend!

.:XOXO TMarie:.