The Motions

Ever wonder what it feels like to be going through the motions? I did. After our trip to Louisville it seemed like everything was falling apart. We were constantly fighting, not communicating. There was no trust, no fun, no time for each other anymore. But what were we to do. Going to bed mad at each other all the time, wasn't something either of us wanted. This song "Mad" by Neyo was how I felt a lot of time.



 
Not knowing what to do, where to start, how to fix what went wrong. On Labor day weekend we went out on a date. It was one of our regular things we had been doing for the past year. The Cold Stares played at 3rd and Linsley. So we went to show our support, but it wasn't quite the same that night. It was quiet between us, no conversation. It wasn't until we got home and pulled into the garage that we sat there in the truck. It was the breaking point. My moment of devastation. All the time I longed for him to open up to me and he finally did. We talked and opened the doors to our skeletons that had been hiding from day one of our relationship, that both of us knew about, but could never get the courage to outwardly speak about. This was the motions we were always battling and fighting through. He was the love of my life and this was the toughest thing I had ever been through. Was this worth keeping and fighting for, I was continuously asking myself that on a daily basis, did he feel the same way? Well it wasn't until that night that I got my answer and yes he was. But was it too late? Did we let things get so bad, that it would be utterly impossible to work it out? And the truth was we had. But the love was still there, mixed with emotions of hate, bitterness, confusion, and two broken hearts. What would I do now? Where would I begin to rebuild my life?
.:XOXO TMarie:.

Home for the Holidays

The Holiday season is best spent with the ones you love and hold so dear...well this season was the best one I had ever had...As I made my return to Nashville from my weekend in Tunica, I came home to a lovely surprise...Trae had set up a date night with some of his friends at 3rd and Lindsley, a live local venue to see artists. Well we became fans to a great rock band called THE COLD STARES....it became our date night tradition together to go see them when they played in town.

As the season changed and the weather colder...I felt like we were growing closer to each other and building our home and life together. Trae's best friend had moved backed to Brazil for awhile, but came to visit us for the holidays...He was pretty excited that he was coming to stay with us. We had a full house this year and I felt blessed to be surrounded by everyone. I grew to learn CL that winter, we shared stories, laughs, and developed a friendship. I really wanted to decorate the house the holidays this year, it took some persuading, and lots of home cooked hot meals to get Trae to agree to it but he did. I was so excited to put up a Christmas tree, and I even talked him into putting Christmas light on the house. So we took a trip to Home Depot for some shopping.

This year was going to be our first Thanksgiving at our home. I was so excited to have my family over, as well as friends that were from out of town. The day started early in the morning as I made breakfast and started preparing our first turkey, just I watched my mom do as a child. The aromas of food cooking in the kitchen, the sounds of family and laughter filled our house with joy that day. I couldn't have been any happier with this day. I was very thankful to have shared those moments with such precious people that meant the world to me.

The month of December consisted of many nights in front of the fireplace with either a good glass of wine or a warm mug of eggnog, and a game of monopoly with good friends, we would all sit around the coffee table and enjoy each others company. That Christmas morning was the first I spent away from my parents. Trae and I spent that morning together in our home. I got up to make a yummy southern breakfast and we opened gifts under our tree. One of our Christmas presents was tickets to the Chargers vs Titans game that night. It was so much fun and a very blessed Holiday season. As my year was coming to a close I was as happy as I could be. I had the love of my life and a home that we were slowly building.