But there were no flowers, or cards etc... It wasn't quite how I wanted the evening to go. I laid down to go to sleep that night, lonely and sad because I missed him.
Little did I know the whole day he had been trying to get home to see me before midnight. Around 11:30 pm he called me. I answered and he asked what I was doing....LOL I said "um laying in bed about to go to sleep...what you you doing?" He said ..."did you get the package that I had Zach drop off?" I said, "No ...what package?" He said, "I know its late but he just dropped it off for you and its on your porch will you go get it?" I then got out of bed put on my robe and headed downstairs. When I got to the front door there he was!! I couldn't believe it, I was so incredibly happy that it brought tears to me eyes. He said, "I made it before the day was over...Happy Valentines day" After seeing posts on Facebook all day about flowers, candy, gifts, etc....I then realized it wasn't about all that. It was about being with the person you love. It was the best Valentines Day I've ever had. I couldn't believe he surprised me.
We were happy, the rest of the month there was no fighting etc... he bought a Harley while I was in Atlanta for work over the next weekend! I thought he was crazy for that...I even told him he should of been "ring shopping" while I was out town not "Harley Shopping" he just laughed and said that comes after the next toy... a boat....I said yeah right, if I am around long enough for that. But boys and their toys what can you expect. I was happy for him and I couldn't wait to ride on the back of it myself. The following weekend we celebrated my Birthday with friends at Citizen. Then before you know it another month had passed. It was now March, I moved into my new place in Sylvan park.
We had countless motorcycle rides, Sundays spent at my parents where taught me how to shoot my first handgun, I was really happy. I thought he was too. We were almost inseparable. I had asked my friend Amy if she could get me tickets to the Kings vs Predators game so I could surprise him with a date night. She was so awesome and hooked me up with seats on the glass.... He was so excited and couldn't believe how awesome the seats were and that they were behind the Kings bench.
Everything was so blissful until social media took its toll on our relationship. One of the worst feelings ever is to know how much you love someone, and see that they may be happier with out you. Or not knowing the truth behind posts that people displayed along with things that were purposing hidden from you to be able to see. How do you feel about it, what do you say about it? I questioned everything up until that point if it was true, if the emotional connection that we had was true. I had already bought us tickets to the opening show at midnight for the Hunger Games. It was a movie that we had both been looking forward to after reading the books. I battled every single emotion that night before going to the movie, Heartache, Love, Anger, Sadness, Regret, Hope, Fear, Anxiety, Guilt, Anticipation, Excitement and the list goes on. 
We talked, we argued, frustrated with each other about everything and if sincerely we were ready to move forward. But all with the fear of letting go once more. I didn't know what else to do but to go see the movie, because I knew there was no one else in the world I would rather be with at that moment.
But the next morning would make for a different outcome...The one where I faced my fears and walked away, giving him the space once more and moving on. I had done everything I thought I could possibly do to save what we had. It just wasn't enough at that point in time. When Easter weekend rolled around he left to go out of town and couldn't compromise plans to spend part of it with me, it pretty much closed the book on Trae and I. I knew from that point that there was no saving us. I needed to do what was best for me, for my happiness..:XOXO TMARIE:.
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