Blinded by Love

There was a lot of thinking still that needed to be done about the future that Trae and I had, if there even was one to think about. He was leaving the next weekend to go snowboarding in Cali for a week, and wasn't going to be home for Valentines day and I was kinda upset about it. I know it was selfish of me to want this after I just had an awesome vacation the weekend before. But I was supposed to go on the trip snowboarding, and work wouldn't let me off for the week. When Valentine's day rolled around, we talked on the phone, and my sister and I went to have dinner together.
But there were no flowers, or cards etc... It wasn't quite how I wanted the evening to go. I laid down to go to sleep that night, lonely and sad because I missed him.
Little did I know the whole day he had been trying to get home to see me before midnight. Around 11:30 pm he called me. I answered and he asked what I was doing....LOL I said "um laying in bed about to go to sleep...what you you doing?" He said ..."did you get the package that I had Zach drop off?" I said,  "No ...what package?" He said,  "I know its late but he just dropped it off for you and its on your porch will you go get it?"  I then got out of bed put on my robe and headed downstairs. When I got to the front door there he was!! I couldn't believe it, I was so incredibly happy that it brought tears to me eyes. He said, "I made it before the day was over...Happy Valentines day" After seeing posts on Facebook all day about flowers, candy, gifts, etc....I then realized it wasn't about all that. It was about being with the person you love. It was the best Valentines Day I've ever had. I couldn't believe he surprised me.
We were happy, the rest of the month there was no fighting etc... he bought a Harley while I was in Atlanta for work over the next weekend! I thought he was crazy for that...I even told him he should of been "ring shopping" while I was out town not "Harley Shopping" he just laughed and said that comes after the next toy... a boat....I said yeah right, if I am around long enough for that. But boys and their toys what can you expect.  I was happy for him and I couldn't wait to ride on the back of it myself. The following weekend we celebrated my Birthday with friends at Citizen. Then before you know it another month had passed. It was now March, I moved into my new place in Sylvan park.
 We had countless motorcycle rides, Sundays spent at my parents where taught me how to shoot my first handgun, I was really happy. I thought he was too. We were almost inseparable. I had asked my friend Amy if she could get me tickets to the Kings vs Predators game so I could surprise him with a date night. She was so awesome and hooked me up with seats on the glass.... He was so excited and couldn't believe how awesome the seats were and that they were behind the Kings bench.
 Everything was so blissful until social media took its toll on our relationship. One of the worst feelings ever is to know how much you love someone, and see that they may be happier with out you. Or not knowing the truth behind posts that people displayed along with things that were purposing hidden from you to be able to see. How do you feel about it, what do you say about it? I questioned everything up until that point if it was true, if the emotional connection that we had was true. I had already bought us tickets to the opening show at midnight for the Hunger Games. It was a movie that we had both been looking forward to after reading the books. I battled every single emotion that night before going to the movie, Heartache, Love, Anger, Sadness, Regret, Hope, Fear, Anxiety, Guilt, Anticipation, Excitement and the list goes on.
We talked, we argued, frustrated with each other about everything and if sincerely we were ready to move forward. But all with the fear of letting go once more. I didn't know what else to do but to go see the movie, because I knew there was no one else in the world I would rather be with at that moment.
But the next morning would make for a different outcome...The one where I faced my fears and walked away, giving him the space once more and moving on. I had done everything I thought I could possibly do to save what we had. It just wasn't enough at that point in time. When Easter weekend rolled around he left to go out of town and couldn't compromise plans to spend part of it with me, it pretty much closed the book on Trae and I. I knew from that point that there was no saving us. I needed to do what was best for me, for my happiness.

.:XOXO TMARIE:.

.:All Snow and Games:.

February the month of "Love" is always super busy for me, and this year there would be no reason for anything different about that. With Pred's games, concerts, and birthdays, I didn't stand a chance with free time to myself! The first Friday night of the month was my best friend Jake's birthday, just so you can fully understand the way the birthdays roll out for the month it starts with Jake- Feb 4, Brit- Feb 8, Chris Feb-10, Todd- Feb 13, Trever & Kashonda- Feb 16, & Mine the 24th.  We ended up not doing anything that night, because for the past 2 years we have had the celebration for lives with a big birthday bash! But this year would be different because of new friends that have came into my life.  

My first Saturday night of the month was spent 2 rows back from the ice, watching the Preds vs Redwings game!! I went with my friend Craig, he picked me up and we headed to the sold out arena. I was so excited to see the game, I was becoming an avid hockey fan this season. The games were always fun :) and I enjoyed everytime I was able to go. I couldn't believe when we stepped inside the arena how many people were there. It was like a concert. I remember having one of the best nights out with Craig that night. He was a huge hockey fan so we lived it up and cheered on our Preds!!

The first Sunday of the month is always celebrated watching football, its become "America's Holiday." Its when all of America sits down in front of big screen surrounded by friends, football and beer! <-- can't forget the beer or the chili! This year instead of a party, I made plans with the Dr. to get our friends together at Sam's in the Village for some Super Bowl action. The 12 of us all sat around surrounding a table full of beer bottles, pizzas and nachos. The TVs all around the bar were tuned in and so were we, laughing, joking, making new friends. It was such an awesome night. The Dr. and I got along great he was starting to grow on me, there was definitely something about him that I liked. It was strange to think back in December, I had actually went to his Christmas party, was introduced...and we didn't start hanging out until the end of Jan, for some reason people reoccur in our lives and we don't know why. But there was reason why we met and I didn't know why just yet. But, I have to say this was a Superbowl to remember.

It was back to the work week, but no one expected what was about to happen. The weather had been pretty crazy this winter so far. We definitely saw a lot of snowy days, but none of them were like this day. I remember just sitting at my desk watching the flurries lightly fall from the sky. It wasn't something I was too concerned about until an hour later when I noticed the parking lot was fully covered with a white blanket about an inch thick. The temperature dropped so quickly that day which made the roads across Nashville so dangerous. I packed up and headed out which seemed to be the same time that everyone else did in Metro Center. It took me 30 mins just to get out of my parking lot. The roads were so bad that I almost couldn't get my car up the hill, especially with traffic as slow as it was.

I remember my wheels sliding and coming inches from hitting the car next to me. But with the way my Daddy taught me how to drive in snow and years of practice in the mustang, we made it safely to Troy's at Werthan, it may have taken me 2 hours to go 2miles but I made it without a scratch! Now my sister on the other hand. Poor thing took her 5+ hours to get home from Cool Springs. Brentwood traffic was a nightmare on any other given day, but throw snow and ice into the mix and it = DISASTER! I didn't even chance driving that far. But she had no other choice. Five hours later she was still sitting there, so Troy and I were gonna go rescue her, until we got notice the her Boo was coming to the rescue. So with the city in gridlock and nothing to do, Troy and I went to the grocery store for dinner and dessert <-- Brownies yum! I of course didn't have any other clothes so I threw on some over sized sweatpants, a hoodie and Todd's jacket and we set out. Destination - Food! Needless to say we survived that night and most of the snow was gone the next day. Which was a blessing because our big birthday celebration was in 2 days and all that planning couldn't go to waste!

.:XOXO TMARIE:.

New Year * New Life

Where do I begin? that was just the thing...I woke up to a new day, a new beginning, a new opportunity for a new life. But the first thing to do was get some breakfast and get my car from the night before. LOL...The month of January seemed to fly by so fast. I spent my first weekend of the year in LA visiting friends. I went to see Julie (Trae's brother's girlfriend). I stayed with her while I was out there. It was quite the girls weekend.

We played around Sunset Blvd and Hollywood most of the first day. I got to meet Jennifer in LA while she was in town looking at new places to live and for her interview. That evening we picked up London and chilled at home, because I was so tired from traveling. The next day we took London to dance class and I got to see her practice, she was so cute. Afterwards we went out to Manhattan beach for Lunch and I visited with friends that evening before my early flight the next morning. It was a short little trip but I was glad to get away.

I met some great people that month. I was getting to know Todd a little better, because he was in town most of the month while 3DoorsDown finished up their new album that was going to be released in April. My "tripod" was always out and about, we were going to Pred's games every week, hitting the local bars, checking out new artists. It was definitely a busy month for me. One of the first Pred's game of the month we all went out afterwards; Andrew took me to Broadway Brewhouse for my first bushwhacker. These were absolutely delicious! If wasn't like 30 degrees outside I would've had more than one. I like to call them adult frosties.



Click his name for inquiries



I also attended one of my first Alan Scott trunk shows that month. It was in Franklin at Battle Ground Brewery. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. But the girls and I met Andrew and Paige there. I knew that this designer created leather goods for celebrities, but I didn't know if I was going to like it and I most definitely did.  I bought a cuff- made with 12-gage shotgun shells and I was in love with the first clutch he designed for his assistant. The skull was made from stingray leather. She sold this to me that night because I was so infatuated with it.

The following week, I went out with my sister to dinner and met up with Andrew later. He introduced to Chris Nathan. We went to see his show at 12&Porter. I loved his music, it was awesome. Something I hadn't heard around Nashville yet. Andrew and I invited J and Chris out the next night to a private place we had been steadily attending on Saturday nights now. Chris ended up not going because it wasn't his thing. So J, Brit, Andrew, Brandon, and I all went for a chill night of drinks. The place was a little slow that night, but I remember having a good time anyways. I remember sitting there looking at the people along the bar and someone striking my interest. I told Andrew what I was thinking because he knew who he was, to let it be known to him I was interested but, unavailable at the moment. It was pretty funny the reaction that I saw. So I said "Hello..Im sure I will be seeing you around soon" and went on my way. We left to go to Rebar for some bushwhackers and the chill night turned into of course a long night once again.

The taco truck was conveniently parked outside the bar, just waiting for us to walk up and order ridiculous amounts of unhealthy food.... but that good when your drunk kinda food, you know the kind you regret the next morning. I believe that same week I met a dear friend to me Amy, through Andrew. She was the sweetest person. I remember her just being so kind and gentle to feelings. Little did I know how our friendship would blossom from that night out. The 2nd to last weekend was approaching. I knew I would be out on the town both Friday and Saturday night for Heather's birthday. That Friday was spent as the usual, dinner at Urban Flats, drinks at Whiskey, drinks at Citizen, then on to midtown for Rebar late night action with Brit, Andrew, Troy and Brandon. This was beginning to become quite the regular. The next morning after crashing out at Werthan because once again we couldn't drive home. We grabbed breakfast at this pancake place close to home called The Pfunky Griddle. It was so cute and I heard so much about it. It was so cool, how you made your own food on the grill at the table. So Troy, Brit and I checked it out. And it was pretty delish! I def recommend it.

Well, not long after recuperating that day it was that time again to get dressed to go out only this time it was for the Epic birthday celebration for Heather. The events started with 20 people at dinner at Goten<--- NEVER EAT HERE!! the worst service ever! It wasn't long until our belly's were full that we were headed to the Honky Tonks on Broadway. We started out at Tootsies, and come to find out my parents and family were out partying themselves next door. So they came with us for part of the night.

The night was full of joy, excitement, alcohol, and of course laughs, whether it was about people watching in the bar or just laughing at the though of us singing at the top of our lungs "dixieland delight," but it was so much fun! This was the first night my parents were introduced to Andrew. They knew we had been going out a lot together lately but it wasn't anything along the lines of dating, although that night him and I were reading into the fact that they secretly wished it was LOL.

That night I had on my right hand a ring that resembled an engagement ring. So being typical Andrew and I.....we decided to play a joke on my parents. In the middle of the upstairs bar at Tootsies, he got down on one knee and proposed. LMAO it was the funniest thing to see my Mom jump up with confusion and excitement all at once. Not to mention the whole Bar giving Andrew high-fives. So we played it off for a little bit for free drinks, but my Mom quickly came to the realization that it was just a joke. LOL. When we left Tootsies my parents parted ways, and we headed to Element a brief club that was open on 2nd, for a little dance action. The night was almost over but not for my tripod+Brit.

We headed to Carl's for my late night/ early morning "Tiffany's" breakfast. I put my intoxicated skills to work. LOL. We ended up with sausage, eggs, pancakes, and a box of Cheezits to snack on. I must say everyone was quite pleased and approved! It was definitely a night to remember.

The last weekend of January was spent at the usual places...i.e. Citizen, Mai etc...I took a new friend out with me that night her name was Joey. while we were out I remember I ran into the guy that captured my attention from across the bar the last time I was there. He questioned me as to why I wouldn't give him my number, I simply said "I'm not looking to date anyone" he responded "well maybe you will think differently after letting me take you to dinner." So I agreed, and gave it to him. We went to dinner at the Acorn a few nights later. I was kinda nervous, but he was so sweet. He opened the doors for me, helped with my coat...etc..it was so gentlemen like and I was thoroughly impressed. Conversation was delightful and respectable. I definitely knew I wanted to see him again. So with Super Bowl Sunday coming up "the Dr." and I made plans to get together with friends. The month of January was a month to remember, but my year was only getting started, and I had 11 more months to go.
.:XOXO TMARIE:.