"One Last Breath"
I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
The was my last weekend home, my last weekend of life as I once knew it. My last breath on my fight to stay home and work through our troubles. I didn't want to move out, but I was fighting a battle that wasn't able to be won. His Dad came for the weekend, so I came back to stay with Trae that weekend.
I missed being home. I missed my little family, being in my bed next to the one I loved so dearly. It was so hard, as I laid there quietly beside him at night. I could feel the tears slowly fall down my cheeks not making a sound, because I didn't want him to know how sad, but happy I was to be there that night. It had been weeks since we had slept beside each other. 
The next few days were going to be tough. We got up that Friday morning and hit the road for a little day trip to Chattanooga. We wanted to take his Dad somewhere he had never been before. So, Rock City was our destination. My sister came with us that day, I needed her by my side that day. It was a beautiful autumn day. 
The sky was as blue as can be, the sun shined high above the trees, and the cool, brisk, breeze blew through my hair on the ride down. At any other given point in my relationship this would have been a perfect day. We frolicked through the trails on the mountain snapping photos of the fall foliage, Fat Mans Squeeze, Lovers Leap, High Falls and Fairyland. 
After our tour we headed to downtown Chatt for lunch and ice cream. We walked the riverfront and just enjoyed each others company. The day was so peaceful, and the weather was perfect. The night was spent with having dinner close to home and just relaxing by the TV. 
The next morning I went to Malachi's soccer game. To see Heidi and her little family, made me so sad to know that this wasn't my future anymore. As I rocked Jase to sleep during the game, I could feel my thoughts and dreams and of Trae and I slipping away, and I was falling back to reality. That night, we had invited my parents over for dinner. We cooked out and all sat around the table and the living room sharing memories of the years before. I had one more night with him and then it was time to say goodbye. 
We took his Dad to the Titans game that Sunday morning, it was so much fun....since football is one of my favorite things about fall. It was something we began to do together the previous year. After the game that day we went home to relax, his Dad was leaving for the airport that morning and I was going back to work, and falling down back into my black hole. All my hopes of 2nd chances for us we slipping through my finger tips. It was time, officially time to let go. I began my preparations to move that following weekend into my new place. I was officially single and didn't know what to do with my new found freedom.
.:XOXO TMARIE:.
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